PartyStuck
by TwoCute
Summary: A collection of Pesterlogs and Chatlogs from Homestuck Characters in a PartyStuck AU. Mostly Beta Kids and Beta Trolls and mentions of Alpha kids/trolls. Rated M for mature themes and foul language.
1. Dreams and Parties

**Hellooooo~ ****I really like the idea of Pesterlogs (Trollian too but they are all human) and Chatlogs, aka dialogues?, I'm not sure hahah! ****The chapters are going to be really short because of the logs but there will be A LOT of them and they will create a storyline in a way, through them. That's the gist any ways, I hope you guys enjoy!**

**Please don't hesitate to notify me of any grammar or typing quirk mistakes! I'd really appreciate it if you said some thing so I can change it, thaaaaanks! And reviews/follows/alerts are always appreciated greatly as well~**

**WARNING :A LOT OF GAY PAIRINGS SORRY I LIKE THEM TOO MUCH! QoQ**

**twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]:**

TA: AA

TA: ii

TA: ii had another dream

AA: 0h

AA: really?

TA: 2iigh

TA: what 2hould ii do

TA: thii2 ii2 gettiing really out of hand and ii'm 2tartiing two feel 2iick wiith my2elf

AA: I see

AA: Like I said a milli0n times s0llux a c0nfessi0n is y0ur best 0pti0n

TA: UGH ii know AA but that won't 2top the dream2 or anythiing el2e for that matter. iif he 2ay2 no iit'll ju2t be another thiing two worry about!

TA: Liike ii don't know OUR FRIIEND2HIIP

AA: Calm d0wn

AA: I understand y0ur frustrati0n its n0t an easy thing t0 d0

AA: but d0nt you think he'll understand if you were h0nest with him maybe express seri0us distress and he'll understand

TA: maybe

TA: but ii can't chance iit!

TA: he fucked me over the counter thiis tiime by the way

AA: y0u can if he's an understanding friend

AA: I d0nt remember asking ab0ut it but 0kay

TA: Ehehehe ju2t thought ii'd liighten the mood a biit

AA: c0nsider 0ther meth0ds s0llux

TA: anyway2

TA: how2 your morniing?

AA: i was h0ping y0u'd ask

TA: you were?

AA: yes I planned a party

TA: nope

AA: why n0t we c0uld finally c0mmence 0perati0n 'vantas in y0ur pants'

AA: it'd be fun

AA: i'm having the party regardless but I enc0urage y0u t0 c0me Capt0r

TA: okay there iit goe2 you a2ked for iit

TA: RANT

TA fiir2t of all, what diid ii 2ay about talkiing about your 2iick liittle '0perati0n'? Ye2 ii humoured you wiith iit but ii'd love iit iif you diidn't contiinue two embark on iit liike iit wa2 an actual thiing. iit'2 2hiity and doe2n't even rhythm

AA: it alm0st d0es

TA: a2 niice a2 ii thiink iit ii2 that you're tryiing two help me becau2e ii know you want me off your back about iit 2iince ii'm beiing a weak a22 moron for not takiing your adviice but ii 2eriiou2ly advii2e u2 from doiing any actual actiion.

AA: S0llux y0u kn0w I hate when y0u rant...

TA: 2econdly he ,who we wiill proceed two not name, wont go two your party let alone driink liike ii know ii2 a part of the 'plan'

TA: that2 why iim rantiing two you AA now lii2ten, or read, whatever. THIIRDLY iim not goiing 2o the plan 2iimply cannot happen.

TA: done

AA: im inviting every0ne and it is they're ch0ice if they want t0 sh0w up 0r n0t

AA: it was my sister's idea theref0re it's her party really I'm just the messenger girl

TA: fiine ii don't care have fun

AA: y0u really w0n't c0me?

AA: What if he did c0me, w0uld y0u?

TA: ii know he won't 2o no

AA: very well s0llux y0u're welc0me t0 c0me if y0u were t0 change y0ur mind

AA: i have t0 prepare f0r this party s0 i'll talk t0 y0u later 0kay?

TA: yeah yeah

AA:...

AA: cheer up please

AA: 0u0

TA: 2top

**apocalypseArisen [AA] creased pestering twinArmageddons [TA].**


	2. GLUB!

**I have a lot of these going already, it's just a matter of editing them. C:**

**cuddlefishCuller [CC] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA]:**

CC: Glub Glub!

TA: oh hey FF

TA: 2up?

CC: o)( not)(ing really did you )(ear about Aradia's party tonig)(t!

TA: of cour2e you would a2k that

TA: ye2 ii know and no iim not goiing

CC: 3:O

CC: w)(y not!?

CC: Please come! Don't be so anti-sos)(ell! Hehehe

TA: not iintere2ted thank2

TA: ii have better thiing2 two do than wa2te my tiime on whatever the fuck goe2 on wiith thii2 group of drunken make out buddiie2 two be hone2t

CC: but t)(ey're fuuuun!

CC: Sollux i don't like your attitude and you s)(ould be compliant w)(en two pretty ladies ask you to a party!

CC: Cod! 3:(

TA: iim 2o flattered over here FF

CC: GLUB!

CC: Please! W)(y do you make me B-EG?

TA: iim not makiing you, you know that riight? iit'2 your choiice two beg liike a u2ele22 baby ju2t liike iit'2 my choiice two not attend AA'2 2tupiid party for iidiiot2!

CC: ug)( w)(o t)(rew you into t)(e deep end t)(is morning! Glub!

CC: i'm kind of offended sollux everyone, even -Eridan, wants to spend time wit)( you t)(is summer and )(ere you are being crabbier t)(an karkat on )(is worst day! We aren't trying to )(assle you of anyt)(ing!

CC: we just want to )(ave fun toget)(er! You know, s)(ow you a reel good time!

CC: 3;D

TA: 2iigh you know ii hate when you guiilt triip me

CC: i'm not trying to!

CC: i'm telling you t)(e trut)(! It may seem like we're mindlessly partying but it's really good bonding time and a lot of ot)(er crap but t)(ats okay!

CC: the point is to )(ave fun!

TA: fun ii2 a drug two you ii2n't iit?

CC: don't c)(ange t)(e subject!

CC: but yes it is! 3;D

CC: please reconsider

TA:...

TA: maybe

TA: for you pretty ladiie2

CC: GLUB~

CC: We'd love to )(ave you t)(ere sollux!

TA: iif you 2ay 2o but iit'2 2tayiing a maybe

CC: Shore!

CC: just take w)(at I said into consideration

TA: ii'll try

**cuttlefishCuller [CC] creased pestering twinArmageddons [TA].**

**I was going to make Feferi write fish puns instead of the )( thing but that was waaaay harder! 3:O So I threw a few puns in for fun to add more personality~**

**I think she's a really hard quirk with fish puns AND her )(! I can't do the puns, I'm not very punny. :T**


	3. Sollux: Be Karkat

**Gamzee's quirk is OFFICIALLY the hardest to keep consistent, I can only keep it 97% consistent without losing my marbles. )O: Sorry.**

**terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]:**

TC: HeY bEsTfRiEnD.

CG: WHAT?

TC: HoNk :o)

CG: WHAT THE FUCK GAMZEE STOP BEING AN IDIOT FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS

CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT I'M KINDA BUSY HERE, YOU KNOW, HAVING A LIFE AND ALL AND NOT BEING HIGH AS A FUCKING KITE ALL THE TIME AND OH FUCK JUST GET ON WITH IT.

TC: WhAt'S gOt My BrO aLl Up AnD uPsEt ThIs MoThErFuCkIn TiMe?

CG: YOU, ASSHAT

CG: YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF YET AGAIN BUT DON'T WORRY DON'T THINK I'M SURPRISED IN THE SLIGHTEST BECAUSE I'M NOT

TC: AwWwWw, QuIt BeInG sO mOtHeRfUcKiN cUtE fOr A mInUtE aNd HeAr A iNvErTa-BrOtHeR oUt.

TC: YoU aNd Me At ArAdIa-SiS' rOcKiNg PaRtY tOnIgHt!

TC: HoNk! :o)

CG:

CG: I COULDN'T EVEN TYPE A RESPONSE AT FIRST. I WAS SO...WHAT WAS IT...OH YES, FUCKING REPULSED THAT IT DIDN'T EVEN DESERVE A RESPONSE. JUST A BLANK SPACE BUT EVEN THAT'S TOO FORGIVING OF ME.

CG: MAN I CAN'T CATCH A BREAK HERE CAN I? I'M SUCH A FUCKING SOFTIE FOR YOU ASSWIPES. SOMEONE GET ME A TROPHY! I THINK I'M IN DESPERATE NEED OF A BRIGHT SHINY GOLD STAR-SHAPED STICKER FOR MY EFFORTS PLACED FIRMLY ON MY TENT PITCHED PANTS BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT? I'M SO DAMN NICE I GET BONERS OFF IT.

CG: FOR YOU GUYS OF COURSE.

TC: Is ThaT a YeS, kAr-BrO, i ThInK I'm HeArInG a MoThErFuCkIn MiRiCaL oF a YeS!

CG: WRONG. YOU HEARD VERY VERY WRONG.

CG: EVERYBODY GO HOME, CLOWNASSFACE HEARD WRONG! SORRY TO MISINFORM. PLEASE HEAD BACK TO YOUR RESPECTFUL AREAS AND GO FUCK YOURSELF!

CG: GAMZEE.

TC: YeAh?

CG: WHEN DO I * EVER * AGREE TO GO TO THESE STUPID MINDLESS PARTIES FOR IDIOTS?

CG: TELL ME I'M DYING TO KNOW.

TC:...UhHh...NeVeR mAn BuT i WaS gEtTiNg My MoThErFuCkIn ThInKiNg On RiGhT? AnD i ThOuGhT wElL sInCe ArAdIa AsKeD mE tO aLl Up AnD InViTe SoMeOnE I ShOuLd GiVe My gOoD mOtHeRfUcKiN bRo A sHoUt!

TC: AnD hErE wE mOtHeRfUcKiN aRe!

CG: COOL STORY BRO

CG: BUT LISTEN,

CG: IM NOT GOING.

CG: I NEVER DO AND I NEVER WILL! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK, ANNOYING HEAD WOULD YA? FUCK IT'D DO US BOTH A FUCKING FAVOUR.

TC: OkAy BrO bUt JuSt So YoU kNoW, tErEzI Is AlL uP AnD gEtTiNg HeR jAm On ThErE sO i WaS sUrE yOu'd gEt YoU'rE jAm On ToO iF yoU kNeW sHe WaS gEtTiNg HeR mOtHeRfUcKiN jAm On.

TC: So YoU cOuLd GeT yOuR mOtHeRfUcKiN jAmS oN tOgEtHeR!

TC: HONK! HONK! :o)

CG: TEREZI'S GOING? ARE YOU LYING I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE LYING GAMZEE CONSIDER YOUR CLOWN PAINTED FACE SMASHED SO FAR IN YOU'LL HAVE EYES ON THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD. PERMANENTLY. YOU WON'T EVEN DYE, NOT EVEN AN OUNCE OF BLOOD WOULD BE SHED FROM THE IMPACT, JUST STRAIGHT UP ,EYES PUNCHED FROM THE FRONT AND NOW TO THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD!

TC: MaN, yOu'Re A bIt CrAnKiEr ThAn UsUaL bRo...ShE InViTeD mE mAn So...

CG: UGH FINE IM SORRY OKAY?

CG: I HAVEN'T SLEPT YET AND DON'T ASK ME WHY. JUST...I'M NOT REALLY MAD AT YOU OR ANYTHING.

CG: I'LL GO TO THE PARTY I GUESS BECAUSE MAYBE I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM HERE.

TC: DoN't AlL uP aNd bE aPoLoGiZiNg KaR-bRo, I AiN't HuRt, I aLwAyS mOtHeRfUcKiNg GeT yOuR mOtHeRfUcKiNg PaIn. I WaS jUsT LeTtInG a bRoThEr KnOw, ThAt KiNd oF AtTiTuDe Is A pArTy KiLlEr tHaT AlL Up aNd KiLlEd ThE pArTy AnD i DoN't WaNt You AlL uP aNd KiLlInG tHe PaRtY!

TC: YoU nEeD tO mElLoW uP lIkE bItCh-tItS tErEzI sO ThAt WaS aNoThEr MoThErFuCkInG rEaSoN i AlL uP aNd ThOuGhT yOu'D wAnNa CoMe.

CG: THAT'S KINDA THOUGHTFUL OF YOU GAMZEE AND I'M BEING HONEST HERE.

CG: TEREZI ALWAYS GOES TO THOSE STUPID PARTIES I GUESS SO THAT'S NOT REALLY WHY I'M GOING BUT I'LL TRY IT OUT THIS TIME. I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO

CG: DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS GOING? OR DO I EVEN WANT TO KNOW?

TC: ThAt'S tHe MoThErFuCkIn SpIrIt BrO! I wAs EvEn AlL uP aNd GeTtInG mY OfFeR oN wItH gIvInG yOu A RiDe.

TC: BeSt LeAvE thAt MiRcLe To tHe MiRtHfUl MeSsIaHs, YoU mOtHeRfUcKiN gEt Me?

CG: SURE WHATEVER I KNOW I'LL DISLIKE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE THERE SO NO POINT IN KNOWING WHO.

CG: A RIDE WOULD BE GREAT ACTUALLY. SHOULD I INVITE SOMEONE THEN...WHAT IF THEY ARE ALREADY INVITED...

TC: DuNnO bRo, JuSt aSk ArOuNd!

CG: YEAH OKAY. WHEN ARE WE LEAVING?

TC: 7

CG: AND JUST TO BE CLEAR, YOU'RE DRIVING THEM TOO RIGHT?

TC: HeLl YeAH, i'M tRyIn' To GeT tAv-BrO aLl Up aNd ReAdY tO GeT hIs PaRtY oN.

CG: GREAT, PLEASE MAKE OUT WITH HIM AWAY FROM MY SIGHT AS BEST AS YOU CAN, AND I MEAN AS BEST AS YOU FUCKING CAN. MAKE IT NOT HAPPEN BASICALLY IS WHAT IM ASKING.

TC: WiLl Do. WhAt LuCkY mOtHeRfUcKeR aRe YoU bRiNgInG?

CG: UGH I GUESS THE ONLY OTHER BEST FRIEND I HAVE. I DOUBT HE'LL GO BUT IT'S WORTH A TRY.

CG: NOT REALLY BUT WHATEVER.

TC: I sEe, I sEe, He CoUlD uSe SoMe MiRcLeS oF a cHiLl ZoNe tOo.

CG: SURE IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO CALL IT.

CG: I JUST THINK HE'S A NATURAL BORN DOUCHEBAG BUT MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU GOT ME TO CALM MY TITS THE FUCK DOWN SO LET'S PREY TO THE MOTHERFUCKING MESSIAHS THAT A MIRACLE BE UPON US AS WE ASK OUR DEAR, MISGUIDED AND STUPIDLY ANTI-SOCIAL ASSMUCHER OF A FRIEND TO COME JOIN US IN MIRTHFUL CHILL ZONING MAGIC KNOWN AS ALCOHOL!

CG: OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

TC: HoNk!

TC: :o)

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] creased pestering ****terminallyCapricious [TC].**


	4. GET FUCKED SOLLUX

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA]:**

CG: WELL IF IT ISN'T MY FAVOURITE LISPING ASSHOLE FRIEND.

TA: oh KK

TA: * 2woon2*

TA: plea2e take me now you charmiing ba2tard

CG: WITH FUCKING PLEASURE

CG: NOT

TA: but

TA: ii thought ii wa2 your favouriite

CG: ONLY YOU WOULD COMPLETELY DISREGARD THE 'LISPING ASSHOLE' PART, ONLY YOU CAPTOR.

TA: that'2 becau2e ii know that you don't mean that.

TA: ehehehe

CG: OH I MEAN THAT, I NEVER MEANT TO 'MEAN' SOMETHING SO DAMN HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! I'M 18 CAPTOR! 18 YEARS OF A BILLION THINGS TO MEAN AND THAT RIGHT THERE WAS THE MOST MEANINGFUL THING I HAVE YET TO SAY.

CG: AS IN 'THIS IS AS TRUE AS THE TRUTH GETS' WAY.

CG: IN CASE THAT WASN'T CLEAR.

CG: BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE A STUPID IDIOT.

TA: iit'2 alway2 a great joy talkiing two you two you fart 2melliing piile of u2ele22 2hiit.

CG: OH BUUUUURN MAN, YOU GOT ME, I'M SO HURT!

CG: AND YOU SAID FART.

CG: REAL FUCKING MATURE.

TA: don't talk to me about maturiity fuckpod.

TA: ii don't thiink you have any riight u2iing that word Vanta2, here let me take that from you before you get ahead of your2elf there.

TA: Now go two your room and thiink about what you have done, takiing thiing2 that don't belong two you liike you have any iidea what iit ii2.

CG: BOOHOO YOU'RE SO UNFAIR CAPTOR!

CG: YOU GONNA SPANK ME MR. CAPTOR? OH NO I'VE BEEN A VERY NAUGHTY MISBEHAVED BOY, I SHOULD BE PUNISHED, PUNISH ME MR. CAPTOR I'M SO VERY FUCKING NAUGHTY.

CG: THAT'S WHERE THAT CONVERSATION WAS GONNA GO RIGHT?

TA: 2weet je2u2

CG: WHAT

CG: DID I GO TOO FAR WITH THAT?

TA: maybe ju2t a liittle...

CG: OH

CG: SORRY

TA: before you 2ay iit

TA: ye2, we're 2tiill friiend2

CG: OH THANK FUCKING GOD

TA: ii2 that 2arca2m?

CG: WHO KNOWS

TA: okay well, you bu2y toniight?

CG: DEPENDS. WHY?

TA: wow, you're an a22 but ii'll a2k anyway2, you know beiing the mature one and not takiing your 2hiit.

TA: wanna hang out and play game2?

CG: OH

TA: oh what? ii2 that weiird or 2omethiing? We've hung out before.

CG: YEAH I KNOW, IT'S NOT WEIRD DUDE. I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT IT.

TA: well ii gue22 not 2iince ii diidn't really giive you a head2 up, becau2e you know, that would be kiinda 2tupiid.

TA: 'Hey KK iim goiing two a2k you two hang out iin a day or two 2o keep your eye2 open for me a2kiing you two hang out, iid hate for you two not expect iit.'

TA: unle22 you'd prefer iif ii diid that iin2tead two avoiid 2uch a hiideou2 reactiion from you.

TA: 2o are you bu2y? ii doubt you are.

CG: WHOA THERE CAPTOR, PUT YOUR DICK BACK IN YOUR PANTS AND ZIP THAT SHIT UP!

TA: what!?

CG: I'M SAYING YOU'RE NOT ONLY BEING A FUCKING DICK BUT YOU'RE BEING PRETTY COCKY IN THINKING THAT I DON'T HAVE PLANS.

CG: AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO HAVE PLANS.

TA: okay but the 5 miinute2 iit take2 for you two fiinii2h jerkiing off alone iin your room two god know2 what, probably two a paiir of 2hade2 or 2ome 2hiit, doe2n't suffiice a2 2uffiiciient 'planning' 2o could you maybe come over after that?

TA: or iif you wack off at niight iim 2ure you could giive a bro 2ome of your tiime before then?

CG: I. WILL. EAT. YOUR. FUCKING. DESK. CAPTOR.

TA: oh...

TA: uh, doe2 that mean you're really liiviid at me?

CG: HAHAHAHAHAH

CG: WHAT A GOOD FUCKING GUESS YOU LOW LIFE BAG OF ALL THAT IS SHIT AND PISS.

CG: BUT LET ME FINISH. I WILL NOT ONLY EAT YOUR FUCKING DESK, I'LL THEN SHIT IT RIGHT BACK ON YOUR UNDESERVING FUCKING FACE.

TA: KK why are you 2o mad?

TA: iit wa2 a joke.

CG: YOU'RE A JOKE!

CG: I FUCKING CAN'T STAND YOU SOMETIMES!

TA: well the feeliing2 mutual.

CG: FUCK YOU CAPTOR.

TA: whoa waiit!

CG: WAIT FOR WHAT? MORE CAPTOR FILLED BULLSHIT? YOU MAKE ME MORE MAD THEN GAMZEE AND YOU SHOULD READ OUR CONVERSATIONS. I MEAN AT LEAST HE'S CHILL ABOUT MY RANTS AND DOESN'T DO BELOW THE BELT FUCK-ASSERY!

CG: LITERALLY, THAT'S WHAT YOU DID. YOU WENT BELOW THE BELT, AS LITERALLY AS IT FUCKING GETS. YOU EVEN WENT UNDER WHAT STUPID SHIT IS BELOW THE FUCKING BELT. MAKE A HOME THERE SOLLUX, IT'S WHERE YOU BELONG ASSHOLE.

TA: a2 iif, 2pankiing ii2n't below the fuckiing belt you hypocriite, go eat shiit vanta2.

CG: UUURRAAAGHGHAGR!

CG: NO YOU EAT SHIT!

TA: 2iigh okay iim 2orry

TA: really ii am. ii thought iit'd be funny liike you thought the naughty kiid thiing wa2 funny.

CG: IT WAS.

CG: YOU PROBABLY JUST GOT AN AWKWARD BONER.

TA: There iit ii2!

TA: the hypocrii2y! IIM BLIIND! IIM FUCKIING BLIINDED BY IIT VANTA2!

CG: FUUUUCK

TA: iim 2tiill 2orry though, can we hang out now? ii know you don't actually have plan2 KK

CG: THERE IT IS!

CG: THE SHITTY AS CONFIDENCE THAT GETS YOU BAT-SHIT NOWHERE!

TA:...

TA: you actually have plan2...

CG: DING DING DING!

CG: THE IDIOT GETS IT.

CG: CONFETTI FILLS THE AIR AROUND YOUR STUPID SHIT FILLED HEAD AND YOU LOOK DUMB-FOUNDLY AT YOUR DELAYED DISCOVERY.

CG: ON A PRETTY WHITE BANNER IN GIANT RED LETTERS AHEAD, TWO LITERAL FEET IN FRONT OF YOU, SPELLS OUT:

CG: KARKAT VANTAS HAS PLANS TODAY! (AND MANY MORE EXCLAMATION MARKS).

CG: IN SMALLER RED FONT BELLOW, IT SAYS:

CG: SO HE CAN NOT HANG OUT WITH HIS LISPING ASSHOLE FRIEND!

CG: AND THEN YOU FIND ME CLAPPING, UN-FUCKING-ENTHUSED, UNDER IT. BUT STILL CLAPPING, KEEP THAT IN MIND BECAUSE THAT IS IMPORTANT.

CG: THAT MEANS I'M GIVING YOU A LITTLE BIT OF CREDIT.

CG: EVEN THOUGH I REALLY SHOULDN'T.

CG: BUT I ALREADY WENT ON A RANT TO GAMZEE ABOUT HOW NICE I AM TO YOU ASSNUGGETS AND DON'T WANT TO DO IT AGAIN.

TA:...

TA: ii feel liike an a22 now.

CG: DONT.

CG: IT'S FINE.

CG: JUST.

CG: FUCK, CAN YOU NOT BE SO DAMN COCKY ALL THE TIME?

CG: OKAY YOU'RE EITHER THAT OR DEPRESSED.

CG: WE CAN TALK ABOUT THAT LATER I GUESS.

TA: uh 2ure, 2o iif you can't hang out, then what are you doiing? iif you don't miind me a2kiing.

CG: DUDE.

CG: I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW I NEVER GOT TO TELLING YOU WHEN IT WAS THE SOUL PURPOSE OF ME TALKING TO YOU.

TA: ?

CG: I'M GOING TO A FUCKING PARTY TONIGHT.

CG: I WAS GOING TO ASK IF YOU WANTED TO COME AND AT FIRST I THOUGHT YOU'D BE A GREAT BIG DOUCHE ABOUT IT, EVEN THOUGH YOU MANAGED TO BE ONE ANY WAYS.

CG: (CAN I ADD THAT THAT IS NO SURPRISE?)

CG: BUT SINCE YOU WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH ME TONIGHT THEN PERFECT! LET'S GO TO A PARTY TOGETHER. SOUND COOL?

CG: PLEASE BE LEVEL HERE.

TA:...

TA: why?

CG: WHY WHAT? WHY AM I GOING? OR WHY SHOULD YOU BE LEVEL WITH ME?

TA: 2iigh, why are you goiing numbnut2.

TA: ii mean you never went two one before. Why are you goiing now?

CG: I WASN'T INTERESTED AT FIRST BUT GAMZEE CONVICTED ME? I DON'T REALLY WANT TO GET INTO THE DETAILS.

TA: A reliigiiou2 clown-ob2e22ed guy conviinced you two get drunk and do unholy thiing2, do you 2ee what'2 wrong wiith thii2 piicture KK?

TA: ii do.

TA: and let me ju2t poiint out that there'2 a lot wrong wiith iit.

CG: WHAT ARE YOU? MY FUCKING FATHER! ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO SPANK ME? LIKE SERIOUSLY.

CG: HERE'S SOME ADVICE CAPTOR:

CG: CHILL.

CG: THE FUCK.

CG: OUT.

TA: ii am chiill KK iim 2o fuckiing chiill iim ju2t a2kiing why you're attendiing thiis? ii've been a2ked by liike 5 people and ii 2aiiid no and now you?

TA: you're tryiing two get me iinto thii2 bull2hiit two?

CG: IT'S ABOUT YOU AGAIN ISN'T IT? YOU TURNED THE CONVERSATION ABOUT YOU AS FUCKING ALWAYS!

CG: OH ALL THE2E A22HOL2 ARE ON MY DIICK ABOUT ATTENDIING A 2TUPIID PARTY!

CG: BUT IIM WAAAAY BETTER THAN THAT!

CG: GET. FUCKED. SOLLUX.

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] creased pestering twinArmageddons [TA].**

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked twinArmageddons [TA] from his Pesterchum Account.**


	5. Karkat: Be upset

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]:**

CG: THAT FAILED HORRIBLY.

CG: AND I'M ACTUALLY UPSET. LIKE WHY WON'T HE JUST.

CG: ASDFGHJKLHGFD!

TC: AwWw, I'm SoRrY bEsTfRieNd.

TC: :o(

CG: SIGH WHATEVER I'LL INVITE NO ONE I GUESS.

TC: ThAt'S oKaY mAn, YoU'lL bE sUrRoUnDeD bY oThEr mOtHeRfUcKeRs AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRiClEs.

CG: YAY.

CG: THAT WAS SARCASM.

TC: HoNk :oT

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] became an idle!Chum.**


	6. TZ TO TH3 R3SCU3

**twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]:**

TA: um...TZ? you there?

GC: Y3AH M4N!

GC: WH4TS UP!?

TA: well ii need two a2k you two deliiver a me22age for me? iif that'2 okay wiith you.

GC: 4WW SUR3 DUD3, WH4T 1S 1T? 4N 3MB4RR4SS1NG LOV3 CONF3SS1ON?

GC: HMMM? ;]

TA: barely.

TA: KK blocked me on pe2terchum...

GC: :O

GC: 4G41N?

TA: yeah, ii feel liike a complete a22

TA: ii keep pii22iing hiim off but ii hone2tly don't know what iim doiing wrong. okay ii do but UGH he'2 2o ii dont know...

GC: S4Y NO MOR3 MR. 4PPL3B3RRY! 1 T4LK TO H1M 4 LOT TOO 4ND SOM3 T1M3S 1M SO UPS3T OR 4NGRY 4FT3R, OTH3R TH4N VR1SK4, H3 G3TS M3 R34LLY UPS3T TOO!

TA: yeah

TA: iit'2 u2ually my fault though and he hate2 iit when ii hack iintwo pe2terchum two unblock my2elf from hii2 account

GC: HEHEHEH 1 DONT KNOW HOW YOU DO TH4T BUT 4LR1GHT, WH4TS TH3 M3SS4G3?

TA: um...2hiit ii diidn't come up wiith one, thii2 happened liike two 2econd2 ago

TA: ehehe

GC: WOW, MUST B3 URG3NT! 1LL W41T :]

TA: ju2t tell hiim two unblock me ii gue22, ii don't want you two get 2tuck iintwo our bull2hiit.

GC: TH4TS R34LLY SW33T OF YOU MR. 4PPL3B3RRY! CONS1D3R 1T DON3!

TA: thank2 TZ

**gallowsCalibrator [GC] became an idle!Chum.**


	7. HEART

**gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]:**

GC: K4RKL3S~

CG: OH GOD

GC: WH4T :? DONT W4NT TO T4LK TO M3?

CG: SHUT UP AND TELL ME WHY YOU'RE BUGGING ME

CG: HERE'S A WARNING FOR YOU:

CG: I'M IN A BAD MOOD.

GC: H3H3H3H3H3

GC: YOUR3 4LW4YS 1N 4 B4D MOOD

GC: YOUR H34DS UP 1S K1ND OF R3DUND4NT K4RKL3S

CG: MORE SO THAN USUAL SO SPILT IT OUT OR FUCK OFF

GC: 4R1GHT F1N3, 1LL G3T STR41GHT TO TH3 PO1NT TH3N MR. CR4BB13R TH4N USU4L P4NTS!

CG: THANK YOU

GC: SOLLUX W4NTS YOU TO UNBLOCK H1M

CG: ASDFFJADSKDAFSJLKSDJA!

GC: H3 F33LS T3RR1BL3 K4RKL3S, W4NN4 R34D 1T?

CG: NO

GC: 1 TH1NK

GC: YOU DO

GC: H4NG ON!

CG: TEREZI!

CG: WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!?

**gallowsCalibrator [GC] pasted a file to carcinoGeneticist [CG].**

_TA: KK blocked me on pe2terchum..._

_GC: :O_

_GC: 4G41N?_

_TA: yeah, ii feel liike a complete a22_

_TA: ii keep pii22iing hiim off but ii hone2tly don't know what iim doiing wrong. okay ii do but UGH he'2 2o ii dont know..._

_GC: S4Y NO MOR3 MR. 4PPL3B3RRY! 1 T4LK TO H1M 4 LOT TOO 4ND SOM3 T1M3S 1M SO UPS3T OR 4NGRY 4FT3R, OTH3R TH4N VR1SK4, H3 G3TS M3 R34LLY UPS3T TOO!_

_TA: yeah_

_TA: iit'2 u2ually my fault though and he hate2 iit when ii hack iintwo pe2terchum two unblock my2elf from hii2 account_

_GC: HEHEHEH 1 DONT KNOW HOW YOU DO TH4T BUT 4LR1GHT, WH4TS TH3 M3SS4G3?_

_TA: um...2hiit ii diidn't come up wiith one, thii2 happened liike two 2econd2 ago_

_TA: ehehe_

_GC: WOW, MUST B3 URG3NT! 1LL W41T :]_

_TA: ju2t tell hiim two unblock me ii gue22, ii don't want you two get 2tuck iintwo our bull2hiit._

GC: JUST LOOK 4T TH3 GU1LT TH4T POOR M4N 1S GO1NG THROUGH!

CG: ...

GC: UNBLOCK H1M, 1D1OT, BLOCK1NG P3OPL3 1S SO L4M3 V4NT4S

CG: YOU GET UPSET AND ANGRY AFTER OUR CONVERSATIONS?

GC: UGH NOT TH3 PO1NT R1GHT NOW

CG: WELL HE SEEMS PRETTY UPSET

CG: I THINK I'LL JUST

CG: KEEP HIS ASS BLOCKED FOR FUCKING EVER!

GC: OH STOP, UNBLOCK H1M YOU LOS3R

CG: ONLY IF YOU TELL ME WHY YOU GET UPSET WITH ME

GC: ...

GC: W3 T4LK3D 4BOUT TH1S 4LR34DY, 1 M4K3 YOU 4NGRY 4ND UPS3T TOO SO WHY 4R3 YOU SO SURPR1S3D 1 S41D SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T?

CG: SOLLUX DOESN'T NEED TO FUCKING KNOW FIRST OF ALL

CG: AND SECOND DID YOU TELL THIS TO EVERYONE LIKE REALLY?

GC: :O

GC: K4RK4T PL34S3 DONT ST4RT TH1S SH1T NOW, 1 H4V3 4 P4RTY TO G3T R34DY FOR 4ND YOU H4V3 4 FR13ND WHO R43LLY W4NTS TO T4LK TO YOU!

GC: TH4T 1S 4LL 1 W4NT3D TO S4Y SO TH3R3

CG: I'M GOING TO THE PARTY TOO AND I TRIED TO INVITE SOLLUX BUT HE WAS A TOTAL DICK ABOUT IT SO FUCK HIM I'LL UNBLOCK HIM BUT IM NOT TALKING TO HIM

GC: G4SP :O

GC: YOUR3 GO1NG TOO!?

CG: UM...YEAH SO?

GC: K4RKL3S TH4TS 4W3SOM3 N3WS!

GC: 1 HAV3 B33N DY1NG TO P4RTY W1TH 4 DRUNK YOU FOR L1K3 3V3R M4N!

CG: I DIDN'T SAY I WAS DRINKING

GC: WE W1LL S33 4BOUT TH4T H3H3H3H3H3

GC: ;P

CG: SIGH

GC: 4ND BR1NG 4PPL3B3RRY TOO! IT W1LL B3 4 BL4ST!

CG: WHAT DID I JUST SAY? HE WAS BEING A DICK ABOUT IT NOT MY JOB YOU TAKE HIM!

GC: 1 WOULD BUT

CG: BUT WHAT

GC: VR1SK4S V4N C4N ONLY HOLD SO M4NY P3OPL3 4ND 1 TH1NK W3 4R3 FULL :?

CG: I THOUGHT YOU HATED HER GUTS TEREZI

GC: 1 DO BUT SH3S 4 GR34T P3RSON TO P4RTY W1TH

CG: YOU DISAPPOINT ME

GC: JUST TRY 4G41N, H3 W1LL CH4NG3 H1S M1ND FOR YOU. TRUST M3333333!

CG:...

CG: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE

GC: *H34RT*

CG:...

CG:*HEART*?

GC: H3H3H3H3H3 C4TCH YA L4T3R V4NT4S!

CG: YEAH

**gallowsCalibrator [GC] creased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG].**


	8. Sollux gets a second chance to party!

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] unblocked twinArmageddons [TA] from his Pesterchum Account.**

**twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]:**

TA: KK iim really really 2orry

TA: liike 2eriiou2ly, hard core, 2orry

TA: ii hate when you block me

TA: iit2 my weakne22 you found iit

TA: wiill you plea2e talk two me agaiin?

TA: plea2e

TA: ii 2aiid iim 2orry oh my god

TA: why diid you unblock me iif you weren't goiing two talk two me!

TA: common thii2 ii2 almo2t WOR2E than blockiing me 2eriiou2ly

TA: are you enjoyiing thii2?

TA: you're enjoyiing thii2 aren't you, that'2 why you unblocked me

TA: goddamiit KK plea2e talk two me

CG: NAH I LIKE YOU BETTER WHEN YOU'RE GRAVELLING, KEEP DOING THAT

TA: 2igh wow okay...

TA: um how many tiime2 do ii have two apologiize exactly? Do ii get a number or...

CG: HAHAHAHA THAT'S GOLDEN

CG: BUT I ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOU SOUND LIKE A WHINY BITCH ALL DAY, I HAVE PLANS REMEMBER

CG: AND MAYBE YOU DO TOO?

TA: 2iigh

TA: what tiime?

CG: SERIOUSLY? WOW I SHOULD BLOCK YOU MORE OFTEN, NO OFFENCE.

CG: GAMZEE SHOULD BE BY YOUR PLACE AT LIKE 7:30

TA: can ii a2k for a redeemed hang out 2ome other tiime for thii2?

CG: QUITE FRANKLY, YOU SHOULDN'T ASK FOR ANYTHING BUT YEAH, SINCE I'LL GET OVER YOU BEING A DOUCHEBAG SOON ENOUGH BECAUSE I ALWAYS DO

CG: HENCE WHY WE'RE STILL FRIENDS

TA: of cour2e

TA: 2tiill 2orry

TA: man ii2 AA goiing two get a kiick out of thii2

CG: DUDE, EVERYONE IS GOING TO SHIT THEIR PANTS SEEING US. ESPECIALLY *BOTH* OF US, WE ARE THE ONLY TWO SHITHEADS WHO DON'T GO TO THESE SHIT FACED PARTIES. EVEN KANAYA GOES TO THEM.

TA: that2' true

TA: are you goiing two driink?

CG: DON'T PLAN ON IT

CG: TEREZI SAYS OTHER WISE

TA: maybe you 2hould 2o you can make a fuckiing move already

CG: SHUT UP! THAT'S FUCKING WEAK!

TA: really?

CG: WELL I THINK SO

CG: BESIDES I'M NOT GOING BECAUSE SHE IS IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE THINKING.

TA: could have fooled me, iit'2 a good opportuniity iif you a2k me

CG: AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T ASK YOU SO BACK OFF

TA: okay okay geez ju2t tryiing two be a bro

CG: UGH CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING

TA: 2ure

CG: IS THAT WHY YOU ASKED HER TO GET ME TO UNBLOCK YOU?

TA: ye2 and no

TA: 2he ha2 a way wiith you that ii know and you have a thiing for her 2o ii gue22 iit work2?

CG: YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE

TA: now what diid ii do? ii hone2tly thought that wa2 a good thiing ii diid ugh

CG: I'M JOKING

CG: KINDA

TA:...2o iit wa2 a good thiing?

CG: CAN WE NOT DO THIS.

CG: PARTY REMEMBER

TA: alriight ii gue22 ii'll 2ee you 2oon

CG: AND SOLLUX?

TA: uh...ye2?

CG: DON'T BE A FUCKING DOUCHE AT THE PARTY. PLEASE

TA: yeah okay

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] creased pestering twinArmageddons [TA].**


	9. Fashion is stupid!

**caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA]:**

CA: i cant believve you're goin to the party sol wwhat a fuckin drag

TA: ii don't have tiime for thii2 iim gettiing dre22ed

CA: good to knoww. Anywways wwhy are you goin? You're so god damn anti-social it's un fuckin real

TA: what diid ii ju2t 2ay a22face? Why are you 2tiill talkiing two me?

CA: you're typin back so

CA: ugh fine be that wway!

CA: maybe i didn't start this thing off so greatly

CA: I'm surprised you're comin that's all and maybe i'm just a little bit fuckin relievved about it since fef can get off my fuckin back about you bein all anti-social and wwhat not

CA: she fears you hate evveryone secretly or some shit too you knoww, wwhich is a little unsettlin evven for me

CA: so...is it true sol? Do you hate all you friends?

CA: sol common i'm bein serious here

CA: or 'real', wwhatevver you wweirdos say these days

TA: okay fiir2t of all, why do you want two know 2omethiing liike that? Hone2tly iit'2 none of your bu2iine22 and two, ii'll ju2t tell you 2o you 2hove off.

TA: ii don't hate all my friiend2, ju2t you

TA: and vrii2ka

TA: happy now?

CA: wwell, as selfish as it may sound, no.

CA: that's kind of mean sol. I get wwhat you havve against Vvrisk, but me? Wwhy? Wwhat did I do?

TA: ugh ampora not now, iim tryiing two get ready here liike ii 2aiid a miilliion tiime2.

CA: wwhoa there captor, you said it like twwice

CA: i get that you're doin stuff but chill wwould you? And tell me wwhat you're wwearin wwhile you're at it?

TA: ii thiink ii wa2 de2tiined two come two thii2 party two gather all the rage ii have wiithiin me and harm you wiith iit becau2e you a2ked that.

TA: thank2 for cleariing that up for me, ii wa2 2eriiou2ly 2tartiing two wonder what my purpo2e iin liife wa2 attendiing thii2 god for2akiing party but you found iit

TA: way two fuckiing go Eriidan

CA: WWAIT MAN

CA: not like that! I wwas offerin to help you pick somethin out, you knoww, because I'm highly fashionable and knoww wwhat wwill look good

CA: god wwhy is it so hard talkin to you?

CA: and I don't knoww if this is a thing wwith you twwo but you really sounded like kar back there.

TA: ii don't need your 'fa2hiion 2en2e' bud, ii know how two dre22 my2elf. And fuck off, ii talk two hiim a lot okay, geez, iive 2een you type a fii2h pun before, dont even 2tart wiith me.

CA: let's not talk about that

CA: god

CA: are you sure you don't wwant my help?

TA: why are you even offeriing? Diid you a2k KK the 2ame 2hiit? iill laugh 2o hard iif you diid, waiit iill a2k hiim.

CA: WWOWW sol wwhy do you do this?

CA: lookin good is integral to partyin thats all and if you look like shit then the party wwill be shit just sayin since it's your first party and all

TA: iim 2peechle22

CA: wwhat

CA: wwhy? Is it really that fuckin wweird that I'm offerin some fuckin advvice to you?

CA: fine nevvermind doughebag see if i care that you look like a shitty pile of shit in shitty asshole clothes.

TA: eheheheh

TA: huh weiird ii fiind iit 2trangely flatteriing that you're 2o up2et over thii2

CA: you should be damn wwell flattered! I'm givvin you a darn good chance at bein sexy as fuck!

TA: ED!

TA: thank you plea2e tell me what you'd fiind '2exy a2 fuck' on me

CA: ...um are you mockin me sol?

CA: i don't like bein fuckin mocked you knoww

TA: aww iim 2orry bro, here, let me giive you a tii22ue for your ii22ue

TA: ehehehehehehe

CA: your laugh is fuckin stupid and so is that thing you said before it! Im not cryin ovver you, you wwiener!

TA: ouch ED that hurt2

TA: hey check thii2 out, iim goiing two wear a really hot bumble bee patterned cat 2uiit two the party! ii thiink that wiill really get thii2 party 2tarted don't you thiink?

CA: i wwill forevver be ashamed to evven knoww of your name if you actually havve somethin like that captor.

CA: and as much as you like bees for wwhatevver dumb reason, black and or yelloww are not your colours!

TA: oh? they're not? black ii get ii gue22 but why not yellow a22hole, that'2 one of my fav2!

CA: oh sol, sorry to break your poor little bee-lovvin heart but drop evverythin you wwear wwith yelloww on it i hated the colour on you anywways.

CA: please tell me you havve somethin more beige in your closet

TA: heck no

CA: wwhite?

TA: yeah...

CA: elaborate. A wwhite Tee, dress shirt...

TA: oh my god you are actually doiing thii2

CA: wwhat the fuck sol

CA: did i fuckin stutter

TA: 2o aggre22iive mr fancy pant2

TA: iit'2 a graphiic tee

TA: new2 fla2h!

TA: all my 2hiirt2 are graphiic tee2

CA: oh you are goddamn hopeless!

TA: ehehehe

TA: are graphiic tee2 not '2exy' ED

CA: wwell i wwouldn't say they tickle my fancy on a person but that's just me.

CA: hmmm, wwhatevver it is, just put a swweater ovver it. a tight one preferably and maybe evven...darker in shade.

TA: um...all my 2weater2 are loo2e fiittiing...iim kiinda 2kiinny...

TA: and thii2 ii2 gettiing kiind of weiird

CA: wwhy?

TA: ii don't know, why do you want me weariing a tiight 2weater?

CA: if you must knoww, you havve a decent form to your torso, so showwin that off wwould be 'sexy' as you keep callin it

CA: sexy is a wword by the wway, i didn't make it up

CA: i knoww you're foreign to the term but please be a little more mature god

CA: the levvel of sexiness one brings to a party is as i said before, kind of fuckin important sol.

TA: and that'2 why thii2 iis weiird, you're tryiing two make me look

TA: 2exy

TA: do you thiink iim 2exy ED?

CA: WWOWW GOD

CA: can you not? that's so embarrassin of you

TA: iit wa2 a 2iimple que2tiion

CA: okay hotshot

CA: do you think i'm sexy sol?

TA:...

TA:...

Ca: i hope you understand that maybe it's just a little bit more than a fuckin 'simple' question idiot

TA: ugh fiine you wiin

CA: and no baggy pants.

CA: no one wwears baggy pants to a party sol

CA: no one

TA: don't worry all my pant2 are 2kiin tiight or whatever

CA: wwas that flirtin?

TA: what!?

CA: that sounded like it wwas flirtatious in nature

TA: ii gue22 but ii thought iit could pa22 a2 not fliirtatiiou2?

CA: hmmm

CA: okay

TA: ah! what the fuck

TA: iim not fliirtiing wiith you!

CA: i didn't say you wwere per say

TA: you fuckiing iimpliied iit 2hiit2taiin

CA: don't get your panties in a bunch sol, it wwas merely speculation

TA: you're 2omethiing el2e ampora

TA: iill 2ee you at the 2tupiid party

TA: and don't talk about my pantiie2 liike that

CA: SOL!

TA: ehehehe

**twinArmageddons [TA} became an idle!Chum.**

**I gave ED some dignity I think, I don't like him much in the comic but I see him more like this, idk. And I noticed he kind of HATES fish puns and only uses them to amuse Feferi which is cute of him! C:**


	10. One step at a time!

**caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering cuttlefishCuller [CC]:**

CA: fef!

CA: i think sol wwas just hittin it off wwith me!

CC: Glub?

CC: are you lying -Eridan?

CA: Wwhat? no!

CA: he talked to me so that's a start and he talked about tight jeans and panties

CC: because you broug)(t t)(em up i presume

CA: wwell yeah but that's besides the real point here fef.

CC: w)(ic)( is?

CA: SOL FUCKIN FLIRTED WWITH ME!

CC: o)( cod

CC: -Eridan, i'm glad to )(ear t)(is but please don't jump )(im at t)(e party! )(e'll never come to one again!

CC: 3:O

CA: sigh you havve a point fef...one step at a time right?

CC: GLUB! GLUB!

CA: you're not a fish.

CC: don't be an ass 3:(

CA: ahaha, okay

CA: oh and for the record, he asked me if i thought he wwas sexy...

CC: O)( R-E-ELY! )(e)(e)(e)(e!

CC: can i maybe read over t)(e conversation? 3:)

CA: i don't see wwhy not i guess

CC: GLUB GLUB GLUB!

CC: 3:D

**cuttlefishCuller [CC] began reading caligulasAquarium [CA]'s Pesterlog with twinArmageddons [TA].**

**I doubt peserchum would know info like that but I thought it would be fun to do anyways! XD**


	11. No Striders Allowed

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]:**

CG: JOHN.

CG: JOHN. WHERE ARE YOU?

CG: STOP IGNORING ME. YOU CAN'T DO THAT, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO IGNORE ME YOU ASSHAT.

EB: hahaha you're so needy Karkat.

EB: what must I not ignore you about?

CG: I DON'T NEED YOUR ATTENTION JOHN. IT IS YOU WHO NEEDS TO HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING

CG: SIMPLE AS THAT

CG: ANYWAYS, CAN YOU CONVICE DAVE NOT TO GO TO THE PARTY TONIGHT

CG: THAT IS ALL.

EB: wow Karkat as if I'd do that.

EB: I thought you guys were buddies by now...?

CG: BULLSHIT

CG: I DON'T WANT HIM THERE

EB: not your party dude and besides that's kind of mean even for you Karkat.

CG: DO YOU THINK SO?

EB: uh I know so

EB: Dave has no real problem with you anyways, it's just your constant 'i hate you for no reason' bitching that drives him up a wall when you're online.

CG: DID HE SAY THAT PERSONALLY?

EB: hehehe yes Karkat, I talk to him on a daily basis remember, I'm pretty sure that's why you asked me to convince him not to go, because I talk to him.

CG: YOU FIGURED IT OUT

CG: AND HERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE AS DUMB AS FUCKING GRASS MY BAD

EB: wait...YOU'RE COMING TO THE PARTY?!

CG: SIGH

CG: I SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED ABOUT YOUR REACTION

EB: holy shit Karkat!

EB: wow...a drunk Karkat. I honestly don't know what to expect!

EB: this is kind of exciting!

CG: OKAY FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, WHO SAID I WAS DRINKING?

CG: IS THERE A UNIVERSAL LAW OR UNDERSTANDING OF SOME SORT THAT GOING TO A PARTY ENTILES WANTING TO SHOVE ALCOHOL DOWN MY THROAT?

EB: that's kind of why people go to parties dude, to drink!

EB: duh! how can you not drink while you're there?

CG: YOU DRUNK IS PROBABLY MORE UNBELIEVABLY SAD THAN YOU SOBER AND THAT TERRIFIES ME EGBERT.

EB: I'm a fun drunk don't even mess Karkat!

EB: we all are actually, no one gets angry or causes shit and stuff that's why we do it so much. :D

CG: BECAUSE I TOTALLY ASKED.

CG: WHAT'S WITH YOU SHITSTAINS AND TELLING ME THINGS I NEVER ASKED TO KNOW?

EB: ...you're such a bummer man, I'm not sure I want you at this party.

CG: ...

CG: OUCH

EB: it was a joke Karkat! But if it did hurt your feelings, then good, cheer up! You can't bring that sort of attitude to a party man! Just trying to be a bro.

CG: SO I'VE HEARD

CG: ASKING STRIDER NOT TO BE THERE WAS MEAN? REALLY?

EB: yes, Karkat, now just get along with him already! He's kind of waiting for it.

CG: HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME?

EB: YES KARKAT!

CG: :O

CG: EGBERT, YOU, YOU JUST YELLED AT ME!

EB:...sorry...it's just really frustrating sometimes. Hiding stuff when I want to say it.

CG: YOU CAN SAY IT

EB: Oh! Would you look at the time! I go to go, I'll see you at the party okay? Byyyyyyyye!

CG: WHAT

CG: WAIT

CG: UGH

CG: VRISKA SHIT

CG: NO JOHN!

CG: DAMN YOU

**ectoBiologist [EB] creased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG].**


	12. S33king fun!

**cuttlefishCuller [CC] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]:**

CC: you ready? )(e)(e)(e

AC: :33 *ac her perks her head up excitedly* pawsitively ready furferi~

AC: :33 * looking around clawtiously with a furown on her face, ac whispers* please tell the others about my secrecy fur the party, beclaws i can't have Equius finding out. He'll get very furrious with me!

CC: of course nepeta! we want you to )(ave fun wit)( us, and it simply isn't fair you can't because of )(is own disinterests w)(en you like it!

CC: I )(ave already informed a few people so far!

CC: -Eridan, Vriska, Terezi and Aradia!

CC: I know gamsea and tavros are coming as always! So we can let t)(em know w)( en we get t)(ere, along wit)( rose, jade, dave and j)(on!

CC: O)( GLUB! SOLLUX WILL B-E T)(-ER-E TOO!

AC: :33 *ac jumps up and down joyously having heard the wonderful news of Pawllux joining evfurryone *

AC: :33 * ac looks at furferi with big hopeful eyes * purrhaps karkitty is going too?

CC: i can't say for s)(ore! 3:O

CC: but keep your )(ead above water! Karcrab and Sollux are kind of attac)(ed to t)(e )(ip! T)(ey act like a sc)(ool of guppies!

CC: but wit)( only two of t)(em of course!

CC: )(e)(e)(e)(e!

AC: :33 *ac k33ps her head above water as furferi so helpfully instructed, treading happily in hopes of s33ing karkitty tonight! * purrrrect!

CC: and don't worry, we )(ave your back about your problem! )(e'll never find out! even if he were to, we'll defend you!

AC: :33 * ac relaxes at the reassuring words from her good furend * Oh thank you, thank you! you guys are very generous about my short comings! It'd be most unfurtunate if he found out!

CC: understood!

CC: glub glub!

AC: :33 *Glub Glub! * :33

AC: :33 * ac pawses and remembers something she has b33n very purplexed about fur some time and wishes to ask furferi about it *

CC: go a)(ead!

AC: :33 * ac tilts her head quizzically* well actually, I was wondering why you call karkitty, karcrab?

CC: o)(! w)(ale...his name starts wit)( kar and crab sounds cute wit)( it i guess!

CC: )(e)(e!

AC: :33 *ac nods enthusiastically* it is very cute ind33d!

CC: t)(ank you nepeta! karkitty is very adorabubble as well! )(e)(e)(e

AC: :33 *ac beams wildly from her furend's compliment * thank you! hehehe

CC: s)(orefin!

CC: we'll be t)(ere soon okay!

AC: :33 * ac waits patiently * :33

**cuttlefishCuller [CC] creased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC].**

**I don't think i'll be writing anything with Equius in it, i don't understand his quirk and I don't want to? Nothing personal, I like him and stuff just eh.**


	13. Jokes & Pranks are two different things!

**ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering mobile!turntechGodhead [TG]:**

EB: hey dave, are you guys ready to pick us up yet? I'm anxious to get my party on! :D

TG: yeah man, i'm on my phone right now. we're heading to the liqueur store

EB: sweet!

EB: oh and karkat talked to me about you again

TG: will this madness ever end john?

EB: maybe if you asked him to be friends?

TG: dude i've already tried that, i told you this, he thought i was trying to be some savvy nice guy, you know the whole 'being the better man' bullshit.

TG: he said i was out to make him look like an asshole on purpose for not getting alone with him

TG he's an asshole without me meddling around with the idea seriously i never once made any cross moves with him

TG: he thinks i'm courting his not-girlfriend friend but i am not be held responsible for chicks digging the Strider charm

EB: the terezi girl? She's so opposite from him. hehehe

EB: but i think i got him to finally see that you're not mad at him! I think

TG: really. i guess he'd listen to you over me, didn't he have a man-crush on you before?

EB: oh well i don't know, maybe. I'm still a little unsure what happened there

TG: you showed me the convo remember. He was implying things, things of interest things. Can't say i blame the dude, who wouldn't fall dick over balls for an idiot like you

EB: was that a joke dave?

EB: that was a joke and i'm supposed to laugh now right?

EB: hahahahahaha

TG: hahahahahaha yeah whatever

EB: ...you still want to be friends with him right?

TG: sure

TG: maybe you could get him to unblock me from pesterchum too

TG: honestly though, who the fuck blocks people, so fucking lame

EB: i know right? :D

EB: you could talk to him yourself!

TG: and what break into his home john? That's a fantastic idea bro! So glad i have you to consult with in all my hard ships

EB: no silly

EB: tonight!

TG: ohgodwhat

EB: hehehehe

TG: you don't mean what i think you might mean do you

EB: i don't know dave, what do i mean?

TG: OH

TG: GOD

EB: um?

TG: DUDE IS HE GOING TO THE PARTY TONIGHT?!

EB: dave...why are you yelling?

TG: he is isn't he!? If this is one of your prank gambit bullshit assfucker john i swear i'll pee on your desk!

EB: omg dave why?

EB: yes he's going but why are you scared of that? or mad? I'm not sure what you're feeling right now.

TG: i was joking dude chill

EB: oh so * you* were the one pulling pranks!

TG: if you think that was a prank egbert you really need to raise you prank gambit gauge way the fuck up. I said it was a joke not a prank, two different things man.

EB: okay fine but why did you joke about that in the first place?

TG: it was complete irony, god get on my level son.

TG: no

TG: i take that back. don't

TG: that'd be embarrassing for the both of us.

EB: right. i just got confused with your 'highschool girl finding out her crush was going to the same party' facade.

TG: that's the power of irony john. It's levels beyond levels of ironic levels.

EB: you're not hiding something from me are you dave? I know sometimes you use irony as a mask to cover your true feelings...you don't actually like karkat do you? Not that that is bad, i'm just asking.

EB: and you know i won't tell!

TG: john no

TG: i just want to be friends with the midget. I've seen him talking to that nerd guy and i'm just mad about it a bit, why can't he be chill like that with me? Like why is he hating so hard, you feel me?

EB: yeah he's really difficult to figure out sometimes but it's charming on him!

TG: I'd hate him right back if he hadn't found a way to make his rage look so cute looking? So i agree with you, it gives him character.

TG: we're almost there by the way, is jade ready, please tell me jade is ready.

EB: hehehe, yeah, she's waiting beside me.

TG: cool, be there in a jiffy.

EB: jiffy...

TG: do not question irony john.

EB: oh right

EB: irony

**ectoBiologist [EB] creased pestering mobile!turntechGodhead [TG].**


	14. Kanaya: Ramble

**caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering grimAuxilliatrix [GA]:**

CA: almost at your place Kan

CA: just givving you a heads up that you better be ready soon!

CA: god only knowws if you actually are

CA: wwe kinda don't wwant to wwait again

CA: but wwe wwill if wwe havve to, I knoww howw serious you can be wwith fashion and all so I at least can understand

GA: Yes I am Ready No Need For Alarm I Assure You

GA: I Began My Assemble Rather Early For This Occasion To Prevent Any Further Delay For Tonight's Activities

CA: Wwhat newws!

GA: I Hope You Wore Something Compelling To My Critics Eridan, I Do Find Your Choice Of Attire The Most Challenging To Render Any Further Additions If There Need Be.

GA: There Wasn't Much Last Time To My Dismay, Although You Might Have Appreciated The Result

CA: as fuckin alwways Kan. you usually havve at least one thing to say if not 20 so im kind of wwonderin wwhy you brought it up

CA: it's kind of obvvious by noww don't you think?

GA: I Agree Most Certainly Yet I Still Feel That It Is Only Right And Courteous In Nature To Give A Formative Heads Up Of Future Opinions That Are To Be Shared Further Down The Road In Order To Clear Any Misunderstandings.

CA: I see.

GA: Can You Estimate An Approximate Time Of Arrival?

CA: god i don't knoww um...

CA: 10 minutes

GA: Fair Enough. Also One More Question If You Don't Mind Eridan. I Would First Like To Mention That I Appreciate You Checking Up On Me And Letting Me Ask Such Bland Questions That Are Only Minor In Importance.

GA: I Only Wish To Know Them In Advance, To Put My Mind At Ease It Seems

GA: Not That It's Really All That Chaotic

CA: Uh none of those are the question are they Kan? I'm gettin lost in your sea of ramblin.

CA: are you panickin or somethin? Wwhats wwrong, can't find the right shoes or somethin?

CA: God i hate that.

GA: Oh Dear How Typical Of Me, I Apologize.

GA: I Have Yet To Ask My Question Unfortunately Due To My Habit Of Rambling.

GA: And No I Am Not In A Frenzy Of Any Sort, My Rambling May Have Gave You That Impression, Please Excuse It.

CA: right, so the question...?

GA: Oh Yes.

GA: Have You Talked To Rose At All? Just Curious.

GA: I Know She Will Be Attending Without A Doubt But She Hasn't Answered Me.

CA: i havve'nt but i'm sure she is fine Kan, wworry it not.

GA: I Know, Still I'd Like To Hear From Her But I Suppose Such A Task Can Be Done Face To Face At The Party, Logically That Is The Best Way To Communicate To Your Fellow Comrades Anyways.

GA: That Is What I Enjoy Most About These Hasty Get-Togethers Wouldn't You Agree?

CA: i agree. all the screen time wwe givve each other is nice in all but face to face convversations are wway better in most cases.

GA: Most Cases? I Think I Know What You Are Referring To. Confessions Correct?

CA: a vvery wwise woman you are Kan.

GA: Why Thank You Ampora I Believe You Are Rather Intelligent Yourself.

GA: Sometimes

CA: KAN

CA: wwhy

GA: I Feel A Chuckle Is In Order

CA: god you're so wweird

GA: There's The Feeling Again

CA: just like rose wwoww

CA: almost there just so you knoww

GA: Very Well Then, See You Shortly.

**caligulasAquarium [CA] creased pestering grimAuxilliatrix [GA].**

**I don't get Kanaya but she's awesome. C:**


	15. 0u0

**Last pesterlog~ heheheh**

**apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering idle!twinArmageddons [TA].**

AA: i see that y0u are currently idle

AA: n0netheless

AA: i've c0me 0ne last time t0 ask if y0u'll c0me 0ut 0f y0ur shell and j0in the party

AA: s0llux?

AA: I h0pe y0u're n0t ign0ring me since that w0uld be very uncalled f0r.

AA: ...

TA: 2orry AA iim a liittle bu2y

AA: 0kay y0u are kind 0f being an assh0le

AA: 0nly being h0nest

TA: aww don't be liike that. ii have two go now though.

AA: where t0?

AA: did y0u make 0ther plans t0 av0id this 0ne?

AA: I supp0se that w0uld be s0mething y0u'd d0. can I assume they are plans with Karkat?

TA: 2omethiing liike that

AA: why all the secrecy?

AA: I am frustratingly curi0us n0w and t00k time 0ut 0f my busy schedule t0 ask y0u again if y0u have changed y0ur mind.

AA: I guess that was a waste 0f time?

AA: I d0 h0pe y0u enj0y yourself th0ugh which I kn0w y0u will.

TA: thank2 AA you really are a 2weetiie-piie, 2ee you 2oon!

AA: what

AA: s0llux? I'm afraid I d0n't quite understand what y0u mean by that

AA: why w0uld y0u be seeing me?

AA: 0h

AA: 0h!

AA: 0u0

**twinArmageddons [TA] creased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA].**


	16. GET BENT NITRAM!

**I really like quirks. CB**

**SolluxCaptor [Sollux] started chatting with KarkatVantas [Karkat]:**

Sollux: aren't you goiing two be hot iin that?

Karkat: I DON'T KNOW, WHY?

Sollux: well, iit'2 a turtle neck 2weater...iin the miiddle of july...

Karkat: FUCK OFF, ARE WE SERIOUSLY FIGHTING ALREADY? NOT EVEN A SINGLE HEY HOW ARE YOU TO START OFF WITH?

Sollux:...okay.

Sollux: hey, how are you?

Karkat: SHUT UP.

Sollux: what the hell...?

Gamzee: ReLaX mY fInE mOtHeRfUcKeRs, No PoInT iN fIgHtInG nOw, We'Re HeRe To ChIlL tHe mOtHErFuCk OuT.

Tavros: yEAH GUYS.

Karkat: CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET THIS OVER WITH

Sollux: KK, liighten up would ya? You iinviited me here and you're already really grumpy for 2omerea2on.

Karkat: I HATE CARS, I FEEL FUCKING SICK ALREADY.

Sollux: awww, KK, why diidn't you 2ay 2o?

Sollux: ii'll rub your tummy all better!

Karkat: NO WHAT THE FUCK! STOP!

Karkat: FUCK CAPTOR, DON'T TOUCH ME!

Sollux: ehehehehehe

Karkat: UURGHHHH

Karkat: FUCK OFF!

Tavros: yOU GUYS ARE uHH, KINDA CUTE WHEN yOU,,,, uHH,,, FIGHT

Karkat: GET BENT NITRAM! ARRRUGH! SOLLUX I SAID-

Karkat: !

Sollux: 2top hiittiing me, you obviiou2ly liike iit now.

Karkat: URM...

Karkat: NOT A WORD TO ANYONE ELSE, ALL OF YOU! OR I'LL RIP YOU BASTARDS A NEW ONE!

Gamzee: HoNk!

Sollux: fiigure2 you'd be iinto bellyrub2

Karkat: JUST SHUT UP AND RUB ASSHOLE

Tavros: hEHEHEHE,, cUTE.

**Yeah, this is a solkat fic if that was forgotten since the first chapter. lol**


	17. A Hug from the Host

**AradiaMeigo [Aradia] started welcoming GamzeeMakara [Gamzee], TavrosNitram [Tavros], SolluxCaptor [Sollux] and KarkatVantas [Karkat]:**

Aradia: Thank y0u s0 much f0r c0ming guys!

Gamzee: No MoThErFuCkIn PrObLeM, sIs.

Tavros: nOONE SHOULD MISS YOUR uHH, rOCKING PARTIES ARADIA!

Aradia: Please, help y0urseves t0 s0me drinks.

Aradia: my sister b0ught a variety 0f p0p as l0ng as you br0ught y0ur 0wn b00ze.

Gamzee: LeT's GeT tHiS pArTy StArTeD!

Aradia: 0h

Aradia: bef0re y0u run 0ff i must inf0rm y0u that Nepeta's attendance here be c0nfedential.

Karkat: NEPETA IS HERE?

Aradia: she will be but zahhak must n0t kn0w s0 be respectful 0f her wishes.

Tavros: oF COURSE, tHATS EASY ENOUGH! EQUIUS IS uHH,, KINDA SCARY ANYWAYS

Aradia: he can be

Aradia: n0w run 0ff!

Tavros: LATER!

Gamzee: HoNk! :o)

Aradia: * hug *

Sollux: whoa, AA

Karkat: ...

Aradia: i felt a friendly hug was in 0rder, n0?

Sollux: ii gue22

Karkat: GEEZ, GET A ROOM YOU TWO

Aradia: * hug *

Karkat: HEY!

Aradia: i'm really glad y0u guys decided t0 c0me.

Karkat: WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT THESE STUPID PARTIES?

Aradia: every0ne has different 0pini0ns 0n them. I enj0y the t0getherness. It's just m0re fun when every0ne is drunk.

Aradia: 0u0

Sollux: ii don't plan on driinkiing

Aradia: I assumed s0 but I b0ught y0u guys s0mething the m0ment y0u t0ld me y0u were attending, h0pe y0u d0n't mind.

Aradia: i was t00 busy t0 find 0ut wh0 was c0ming s0 when i finally g0t the time t0 use my c0mputer my pesterchum was l0aded with messages.

Aradia: m0stly fr0m feferi and terezi ab0ut y0u guys c0mming

Aradia: s0 i picked s0mething up just n0w

Karkat: YOU DID?

Sollux: that'2 really niice of you AA

Aradia: d0n't menti0n it, i c0uld make you guys a drink if y0u'd like

Sollux: ...

Karkat: DON'T LOOK AT ME

Sollux: 2orry iif ii wanted your approval a22crack

Karkat: WHY? I DON'T CARE, I'M NOT INTERESTED.

Aradia: it w0nt be anything crazy karkat, i pr0mise, just 0ne simple drink.

Karkat: ...

Sollux: now who2e lookiing at who?

Karkat: SHUT UP

Karkat: FINE BUT IF I DON'T LIKE IT CONSIDER IT A WASTE

Aradia: i appreciate it


	18. Sweaty Grade School Gym Shirt Of Irony

**JadeHarley [Jade] started chatting with RoseLalonde [Rose]:**

Jade: here's my money for the drinks

Rose: do you mind putting it in my wallet

Jade: oh. Right. Hehehe sorry

Rose: it's quite alright.

Rose: Dave, you brought your 'beats' right?

Dave: yes mom

Dave: you do know that's the thrid time youv'e asked me right?

Rose: well, I'd hate to have to baby you again like last time for forgetting it is all

Rose: I'm just doing myself a favour really

Dave: oh shut up, it wasn't babying I was just really upset with myself okay?

John: it was a tragedy for sure! I mean everyone else's music was fine but Dave's music is god.

Dave: get off my dick John geez it's not that great.

Jade: hehehe, i find it really amusing that you're so modest when you're paid a compliment but when no one cares you're boasting it like a girl with huge boobs.

Dave: hey! not true, John's been on my dick al ot lately.

John: What!? That's not true either!

Rose: John is correct, Dave just wants John on his dick lately. They are two completely different things.

Dave: can you not be a horrible sister for once in your horrible sister life? Please. Look i'm reduced to fucking begging here, this is the extent of my desperation, the extent of you're horrible sisterness!

Jade: Yeah Rose, you should really be easier on him!

Rose: Perhaps.

Jphn: I think rose is the perfect sister for Dave, someone has to put him in his place.

Dave: JOHN!

Rose: I've never heard a better way to describe our sibling rivalry, thank you John, I am truly flattered.

John: You're very welcome Rose.

Dave: you're such a brown noser. Hey, is my vodka there?

Rose: of course

Dave: okay, you know I'm paying you later for that right? Like...next week or some shit.

Rose: of course Dave

John: yeah, same here.

Rose: I know. There's no real pressure there boys, I don't mind booting for you and the money is a minor atribute really.

Jade: We'll all be of age soon enough!

Dave: I can't fucking wait.

John: same!

Rose: I can't count how many times I debated dressing Dave up like me so he could pick up the liquor, I feel that is still something I'd like to forsee before his coming of alcohol age.

Jade: that would totally work!

John: Hmm, yeah, you could totally pull it off Dave!

Dave: John. My Dick. Hop off.

John: Hahaha

Jade: Hehehe, you should be something sexy for Halloween sometime too, can I go costume shopping with you?

Jade: Please Dave!

Dave: ohgod yes, we'll try on so many different skimpy outfits, it'll be a fucking blast!

Jade: great! it's a date!

John: wow this conversation's gone waaaaay down there huh?

Rose: indeed, we are far from drunk too I'm afraid.

John: did you guys know, I mean besides Dave, so I guess you girls...anyways, Karkat is coming!

Jade: What? Really? Oh my god!

Rose: it's about time I must say.

Jade: Speakiing of Karkat, Dave...aren't you wearing an old gym shirt of his back in grade school?

Dave: ...

John: ...

Rose: ...

Dave: It's for ironic purposes okay? I didn't know he was coming!

Rose: oh wow, might you be on Vantas' dick with such an act?

Dave: no! I wore it as a joke!

Jade: looks like the ironic joke is on you! Hehehe

John: ...

John: that's why you freaked out when I told you isn't it?

Dave: ...I said it was ironic.

Dave: but yes, I paniced a bit...

Dave: he'll be okay about it right? Console a guy quickly here.

John: maybe he forgot, he mentioned losing a shirt once in gym and having to use his friend's.

Jade: before I console you, I need a reason for the why you took his shirt, especially a smelly gym shirt, eeew!

Dave: He's reallytself conscious so I thought I'd take it so he'd have to walk around without one? To be honest, it was a very dumb and stupid prank that was dumb and stupid.

Rose: the first step is admitting it.

Dave: I was hanging out with Egderp waaaay too much back then.

John: and you still can't prank properly, that's why you stick to your weird and confusing irony shit.

Jade: I want to be there when he sees, he'll be so embarrassed and probably really angry.

Dave: let's hope he forgot about it.

John: Dave...his name is written on the front though...

Dave: ...

Dave: FUCK

**DaveStrider [Dave] facepalmed epically.**

**I really don't know what to put to 'end' the conversation. XD**


End file.
